To the women who choose not to have kids, I have one thing to say: thank you.
You probably don’t hear it enough. In fact, you probably don’t hear it at all. What you do hear is an array of pro-childbearing responses, such as, “You’ll change your mind someday,” or, “Doesn’t your mother want grandkids?” or, “You’ll never find a husband if you never want to have kids.”
All things considered, “thank you” is probably on the opposite end of what you hear.
But seriously: thank you. Thank you for recognizing that childrearing isn’t for you and being true to who you are. It doesn’t mean you hate kids. It just means that raising one is not part of your path in life.
Thank you for not succumbing to the societal pressures. I’ve known far too many parents who had kids because that’s what was expected of them. Working in childcare, you see more of this type than you wish to see. The resentment is almost palpable. They love their children — at least, they have no choice but to love their children — but every single movement seems to scream, “I wasn’t meant for this.” I’ve known too many people who grew up with at least one parent who harbored that resentment, who let that resentment dictate how they parented. I’ve seen how that influenced the way these former children are now as adults, or even as parents themselves.
Thank you for not trying to compromise who you are in an effort to keep a partner around. Thank you for being honest and open and refusing to apologize for who you are. Everyone has different values. Everyone wants something different in life. It takes a lot of guts and confidence to say, “This is what I want in life. It’s not the orthodox way, but it’s my way.”
Thank you for not trying to silence that feeling in your gut as a means to validate your life. There are too many people in this world who cannot figure out their path — or have stumbled while walking down said path — and decided that maybe having a child could provide that meaning and definition instead. You understand that down this path lies vicarious living and hurt emotions and you recognize that there are so many other ways to find love and meaning and joy in your life.
Raising children is a difficult, onerous, frustrating, and disappointing gig. It’s tough enough for those who want it. It is a rewarding and loving gig as well, but it’s not something one should go into while focusing only on reward and love and societal acceptance. In this day and age, with a booming population in almost every country, it makes no sense to pressure every person to have a baby. But we’re sticklers to tradition, ritualistic to a fault.
So thank you. It’s not easy to stand firm with your belief. Honestly, truly, and genuinely: thank you. written by Michael Koh for Thought Catalog
… but I just watched the Season 3b finale of Teen Wolf (late, I know, but stuff’s been going on) and I have a few things I need to vent about:
1. Stiles fainting and waking up and asking if everyone’s alive. Yeah, everyone but Allison, Aidan, half the staff at the hospital and the Sheriff’s station. Like, what the hell??
2. The black and white pieces of the goh game looks like candy. Just sayin’.
3. Half the staff at the hospital (ie those who survived) saw two people with swords, dressed in black and murdering people to left and right - and STILES, walking with them and basically controlling them. If that doesn’t get real!Stiles in trouble in season 4, there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with the law enforcement.
4. No but really, a massacre at this magnitude is WORLD NEWS. Especially since there’s been massacres in Beacon Hills before, and strange deaths happening around the school and sheriff station and woods and … you know, basically everywhere. If this was in real life, world press would be CRAWLING over Beacon Hills within HOURS. There would be reporters, news vans, bloggers. There would be interviews, theories (some which would definitely involve the supernatural), experts on site, documentaries. Everyone involved and their 6TH GRADE TEACHERS would be interviewed about the events and their answers analyzed, over and over again. These events would be what put Beacon Hills on the map.
5. The Sheriff looks good in a henley. Just sayin’.
6. Why can’t Derek have anything good in his life, WHY? He made that whole pep talk and put Scott on a pidestal - why can’t he see that he, too, is like that? And why must everyone HURT him so?? Give the guy a fucking BREAK, will ya? He needs something nice. A home, a calm space to himself, a hobby he enjoys, a job, friends … Just, leave Derek alone GODDAMNIT! Why do you torture him so?? AND WHY DID NO ONE OF THE OTHERS NOTICE WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH HIM IN THE END THERE? I mean, Derek helped save the day, right? Why don’t the others check in on him from time to time?
7. Don’t get me started on Malia. She’s lived half her life in the woods, living the animal life, and now she’s starting school? Yeah. Sure. Okay. *shakes head*
8. HOW could this season end with SMILES on their faces? HOW?? They’ve been through hell, their friends and families have died … Like, Ethan and Aidan. One brother dies, the other casually breaks up with his boyfriend - with a smile. Like, what the fuck??
9. They all need serious theraphy. Individually, in groups, all the kinds of theraphy. All of it. This is not something you shrug off, okay? No. Just no.
10. Where the fuck was Peter?
There’s more, but I’m too upset to go on. And I’m so afraid that they’re gonna sweep things under the rug in Season 4. If they do, and concentrate on shoving meaningless love stories down our throats again, I’m giving up. There are more important things to be dealt with right now. And honestly, I’m turning to the fandom for most of it.
Okay, but just imagine Lydia taking up Allison’s bow with the intent to learn to use it, maybe even to avenge her. Imagine her retrieving the arrows from Chris, and taking them out to the woods to where she used to watch Allison practice. Imagine her pulling back the bowstring, and firing that first shot…
… and she’s a banshee, and she just plucked a string, and all she can hear is Allison’s voice resonating all around her.
I can’t write stories, but have a rhyme?
She is in the forest; immaculately dressed There will be no tears today, for she is on a quest In her trembling hands she’s holding arrows and a bow Twice now, she has tried it - her progress, though, is slow
She remembers standing here with Her, not long ago Now she is alone, and trying hard to let Her go She will have her justice; revenge and retribution Maybe then she’ll finally be granted absolution
She’s picking up the bow and aims towards the tree But plucking a bowstring, while being a banshee? There’s voices, voices everywhere - and whispers, screams and song One laughing voice stands out though; “You’re holding it all wrong”